كَلَامٌ مَعَ الْأُمِّ

فِي ذَلِكَ الْيَوْمِ، عَادَتْ لِينَا مِنْ مَكْتَبِ التُّجَّارِ وَهِيَ تَحْمِلُ دَفْتَرَهَا. كَانَتْ صَبَاحُ تَغْسِلُ الْأَكْوَابَ عِنْدَ طَاوِلَةِ الشَّايِ.

That day Lina returned from the traders’ office carrying her notebook. Sabah was washing cups at the tea table.

قَالَتْ صَبَاحُ: «تَأَخَّرْتِ. هَلْ طَلَبَ مِنْكِ رَامِي لَوْحَاتٍ جَدِيدَةً؟» أَجَابَتْ لِينَا: «لَا. سَأَلْتُهُ عَنْ طَرِيقَةِ تَغْيِيرِ الْأَبْوَابِ».

“You took a long time,” Sabah said. “Did Rami order more signs?” “No,” Lina answered. “I asked him how stall allocations are changed.”

تَوَقَّفَتْ يَدُ صَبَاحَ فَوْقَ الْمَاءِ. «مَا زِلْتِ تَسْأَلِينَ عَنِ الْبَابِ السَّادِسِ؟» قَالَتْ لِينَا: «نَعَمْ. عَرَفْتُ أَنَّ الْقَائِمَةَ وَحْدَهَا لَا تَكْفِي».

Sabah's hand stopped above the water. “Are you still asking about Door Six?” “Yes. I learned that the posted list alone is not enough.”

جَفَّفَتْ صَبَاحُ كُوبًا بِقِطْعَةِ قُمَاشٍ. «أَنْتِ تَكْتُبِينَ الْأَسْمَاءَ عَلَى الْخَشَبِ. لَسْتِ رَئِيسَةَ الْجَمْعِيَّةِ». كَانَ صَوْتُهَا هَادِئًا، وَلَكِنَّ وَجْهَهَا لَمْ يَكُنْ هَادِئًا.

Sabah dried a cup with a cloth. “You paint names on wood. You are not the association chair.” Her voice was calm, but her face was not.

قَالَتْ لِينَا: «وَأَنَا لَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَكُونَ رَئِيسَةً. لَكِنَّ الْخَشَبَ الَّذِي أَكْتُبُ عَلَيْهِ سَيُعَلَّقُ فَوْقَ بَابِ شَخْصٍ مَا».

“And I do not want to be chair,” Lina said. “But the wood I paint will hang above somebody's doorway.”

جَلَسَتْ صَبَاحُ عَلَى كُرْسِيٍّ صَغِيرٍ. أَشَارَتْ إِلَى السُّوقِ: «هَلْ تَرَيْنَ هَؤُلَاءِ النَّاسَ؟ خَدِيجَةُ تَعْرِفُهُمْ جَمِيعًا، وَهُمْ يَسْمَعُونَ لَهَا».

Sabah sat on a small chair and pointed toward the market. “Do you see these people? Khadija knows all of them, and they listen to her.”

«وَهِيَ سَاعَدَتْنَا أَيْضًا»، أَضَافَتْ صَبَاحُ. «عِنْدَمَا قَلَّ عَمَلُكِ فِي الشِّتَاءِ، أَحْضَرَتْ لَكِ ثَلَاثَ لَوْحَاتٍ لِتَكْتُبِيهَا. لَا أَنْسَى ذَلِكَ».

“She helped us too,” Sabah added. “When your work was scarce in winter, she brought you three signs to paint. I have not forgotten that.”

أَجَابَتْ لِينَا: «وَأَنَا لَمْ أَنْسَ. لِذَلِكَ لَا أَتَّهِمُهَا. أَنَا أَسْأَلُ فَقَطْ عَنِ الْوَرَقَةِ الَّتِي تُغَيِّرُ الْبَابَ».

“Neither have I,” Lina replied. “That is why I am not accusing her. I am only asking about the paper that changes a stall.”

وَضَعَتْ صَبَاحُ الْكُوبَ عَلَى الطَّاوِلَةِ بِصَوْتٍ أَعْلَى مِنَ الْعَادَةِ. «السُّؤَالُ أَحْيَانًا يُصْبِحُ خِلَافًا، حَتَّى إِنْ لَمْ تَقْصِدِي ذَلِكَ».

Sabah set the cup on the table more loudly than usual. “Sometimes a question becomes a quarrel, even when you do not mean it to.”

تَذَكَّرَتْ لِينَا قِصَّةً قَدِيمَةً. قَبْلَ سَنَوَاتٍ، اخْتَلَفَ تَاجِرَانِ عَلَى مَكَانٍ لِطَاوِلَةٍ. قَالَتْ صَبَاحُ يَوْمَهَا إِنَّ الْمَكَانَ لَيْسَ لِأَحَدٍ مِنْهُمَا.

Lina remembered an old story. Years earlier, two traders had argued over space for a table. Sabah had said that the space belonged to neither of them.

لَمْ يَكُنْ ذَلِكَ الْخِلَافُ كَهَذَا الْخِلَافِ. وَلَكِنَّ بَعْضَ الزَّبَائِنِ ابْتَعَدُوا عَنْ طَاوِلَةِ صَبَاحَ أَشْهُرًا. كَانَتْ تَعْمَلُ كَثِيرًا وَتَبِيعُ قَلِيلًا.

That dispute was not like this one. But some customers had stayed away from Sabah's table for months. She worked hard and sold little.

قَالَتْ صَبَاحُ: «أَنْتِ تَتَذَكَّرِينَ تِلْكَ الْأَيَّامَ. لَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ نَعُودَ إِلَيْهَا». أَجَابَتْ لِينَا: «أَتَذَكَّرُهَا، وَلَكِنَّ أَمَلًا لَهَا عَمَلٌ أَيْضًا».

“You remember those days,” Sabah said. “I do not want us to return to them.” “I remember,” Lina answered, “but Amal has a livelihood too.”

«وَحَامِدٌ لَهُ عَمَلٌ»، قَالَتْ صَبَاحُ. «وَخَدِيجَةُ أُخْتُهُ». قَالَتْ لِينَا: «هَذَا هُوَ السَّبَبُ الَّذِي يَجْعَلُ الْأَمْرَ صَعْبًا».

“And Hamid has work,” Sabah said. “And Khadija is his sister.” “That is exactly what makes this difficult,” Lina replied.

جَاءَ زَبُونٌ يَطْلُبُ شَايًا. سَكَتَتِ الْمَرْأَتَانِ، وَعَمِلَتْ صَبَاحُ كَأَنَّ شَيْئًا لَمْ يَحْدُثْ. أَمَّا لِينَا فَرَسَمَتْ خَطًّا أَعْوَجَ فِي طَرَفِ وَرَقَةٍ.

A customer came for tea. Both women fell silent, and Sabah worked as though nothing had happened. Lina drew a crooked line at the edge of a sheet of paper.

بَعْدَ أَنْ ذَهَبَ الزَّبُونُ، قَالَتْ صَبَاحُ: «أَخَافُ أَنْ تَخْسَرِي عَمَلَكِ. لَيْسَ عِنْدَنَا مَالٌ كَثِيرٌ لِشَهْرٍ بِدُونِ زَبَائِنَ».

After the customer left, Sabah said, “I am afraid you will lose your work. We do not have enough money for a month without customers.”

رَفَعَتْ لِينَا رَأْسَهَا. «وَأَنَا أَخَافُ أَنْ أَضَعَ اسْمًا غَلَطًا عَلَى بَابٍ، ثُمَّ أَقُولَ إِنَّ هَذَا لَيْسَ شَأْنِي».

Lina looked up. “And I am afraid of putting the wrong name on a door and then saying it is none of my concern.”

«لَا تَجْعَلِي كَلَامِي كَأَنِّي لَا أَهْتَمُّ بِالْحَقِّ»، قَالَتْ صَبَاحُ. وَكَانَ فِي صَوْتِهَا غَضَبٌ هَذِهِ الْمَرَّةَ.

“Do not make my words sound as though I do not care about what is right,” Sabah said. This time there was anger in her voice.

أَجَابَتْ لِينَا بِسُرْعَةٍ: «لَمْ أَقُلْ ذَلِكَ». ثُمَّ سَكَتَتْ. عَرَفَتْ أَنَّ سُرْعَةَ جَوَابِهَا لَمْ تُسَاعِدْ أُمَّهَا.

“I did not say that,” Lina replied quickly. Then she went quiet. She knew her quick answer had not helped her mother.

كَانَتْ لِينَا تَعْرِفُ أَنَّ أُمَّهَا لَا تُحِبُّ أَنْ يَتَكَلَّمَ النَّاسُ عَنْهُمَا. فِي السُّوقِ الصَّغِيرِ، يَسْمَعُ الْجَارُ كَلَامَ جَارِهِ، وَتَصِلُ الْقِصَّةُ إِلَى بَيْتٍ آخَرَ قَبْلَ الْمَسَاءِ.

Lina knew her mother disliked being the subject of talk. In the small market, neighbours heard one another, and a story could reach another home before evening.

وَكَانَتْ لِينَا نَفْسُهَا تَخَافُ ذَلِكَ. تَذَكَّرَتْ يَوْمًا سَكَتَتْ فِيهِ، حِينَ لَامَ النَّاسُ عَامِلَةً شَابَّةً عَلَى خَطَإٍ لَمْ تَفْعَلْهُ. لَمْ تَنْسَ وَجْهَ تِلْكَ الْعَامِلَةِ.

Lina herself feared that. She remembered a day when she had stayed quiet while people blamed a young worker for a mistake she had not made. She had not forgotten that worker's face.

لَمْ تُرِدْ لِينَا أَنْ تُصْبِحَ الْحَادِثَةُ الْجَدِيدَةُ مِثْلَ تِلْكَ الْحَادِثَةِ. وَمَعَ ذَلِكَ، لَمْ يَكُنْ عِنْدَهَا دَلِيلٌ عَلَى أَنَّ خَدِيجَةَ تَعَمَّدَتِ الظُّلْمَ. كَانَتْ تَعْرِفُ مَا قِيلَ لَهَا فَقَطْ.

She did not want the new affair to become like that one. Still, she had no proof that Khadija had deliberately been unfair. She knew only what people had told her.

رَأَتْ مِنْ مَكَانِهَا خَدِيجَةَ تُسَاعِدُ تَاجِرًا عَلَى رَفْعِ صُنْدُوقٍ. وَفِي اللَّحْظَةِ نَفْسِهَا، تَذَكَّرَتْ اسْمَ أَمَلَ عَلَى اللَّوْحَةِ الَّتِي لَمْ تَكْتَمِلْ قِصَّتُهَا.

From her place she saw Khadija helping a trader lift a box. At that same moment, she remembered Amal's name on the sign whose story remained unsettled.

لَمَّا بَدَأَتْ لِينَا تَعْمَلُ، وَقَفَتْ صَبَاحُ قُرْبَهَا وَقَالَتْ: «لَا أَطْلُبُ مِنْكِ أَنْ تُكَذِّبِي أَمَلًا. أَطْلُبُ مِنْكِ أَلَّا تَنْسَيْ نَفْسَكِ».

When Lina began working again, Sabah stood near her. “I am not asking you to call Amal a liar. I am asking you not to forget yourself.”

أَنْزَلَتْ لِينَا الْفُرْشَاةَ. «أَفْهَمُ خَوْفَكِ، يَا أُمِّي. وَأُرِيدُ أَنْ أَفْهَمَ خَوْفَ أَمَلَ أَيْضًا». لَمْ تَجِدْ صَبَاحُ جَوَابًا سَرِيعًا، فَعَادَتْ إِلَى أَكْوَابِهَا.

Lina put down her brush. “I understand your fear, Mother. I want to understand Amal's fear too.” Sabah had no quick answer and went back to her cups.

أَخَذَتْ صَبَاحُ الْإِبْرِيقَ وَذَهَبَتْ إِلَى الْمَاءِ. تَرَكَتْ لِينَا كُوبَ الشَّايِ عَلَى الطَّاوِلَةِ. لَمْ تَكُنْ تُرِيدُ أَنْ تَذْهَبَ وَهُمَا غَاضِبَتَانِ.

Sabah carried the kettle to the water. Lina left her tea on the table. She did not want to go while they were both angry.

عِنْدَمَا عَادَتْ صَبَاحُ، قَالَتْ لِينَا: «سَأَسْأَلُ أَمَلَ غَدًا أَنْ تُرِيَنِي الْبَابَ التَّاسِعَ. فِي النَّهَارِ، أَمَامَ النَّاسِ. لَنْ أَدْخُلَ الْمَكْتَبَ وَحْدِي».

When Sabah returned, Lina said, “Tomorrow I’ll ask Amal to show me Door Nine. In daylight, in front of people. I won’t enter the office alone.”

نَظَرَتْ صَبَاحُ إِلَيْهَا. «وَمَاذَا سَيُغَيِّرُ النَّظَرُ إِلَى بَابٍ؟» قَالَتْ لِينَا: «رُبَّمَا لَا شَيْءَ. وَلَكِنِّي لَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَقُولَ إِنَّ الْبَابَيْنِ مِثْلُ بَعْضِهِمَا دُونَ أَنْ أَرَاهُمَا».

Sabah looked at her. “What will looking at a doorway change?” “Perhaps nothing,” Lina said. “But I do not want to say that the two doors are alike without seeing them.”

مَدَّتْ صَبَاحُ إِلَيْهَا قِطْعَةَ خُبْزٍ. «كُلِي. لَمْ تَأْكُلِي مُنْذُ الصَّبَاحِ». أَخَذَتْهَا لِينَا، وَلَمْ تَعْرِفْ إِنْ كَانَ ذَلِكَ صُلْحًا أَمْ وَقْفًا لِلْكَلَامِ.

Sabah passed her a piece of bread. “Eat. You have eaten nothing since morning.” Lina took it, unsure whether it was peace or simply a pause in the argument.

حَمَلَتْ لِينَا لَوْحَةً صَغِيرَةً وَعَادَتْ إِلَى عَمَلِهَا. وَلَمَّا أَخْطَأَتْ فِي حَرْفٍ، مَسَحَتِ الطِّلَاءَ قَبْلَ أَنْ يَجِفَّ. كَانَ إِصْلَاحُ هَذَا الْخَطَإِ سَهْلًا.

Lina picked up a small sign and returned to work. When she made a mistake in a letter, she wiped off the paint before it dried. Correcting this mistake was easy.

فِي آخِرِ النَّهَارِ، مَرَّتْ أَمَلُ بِعَرَبَتِهَا. سَأَلَتْهَا لِينَا: «هَلْ تَسْتَطِيعِينَ أَنْ تَأْتِيَ مَعِي غَدًا إِلَى السُّوقِ الْجَدِيدِ؟ أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَرَى الْبَابَ التَّاسِعَ».

At the end of the day Amal passed with her cart. Lina asked, “Can you come with me tomorrow to the new market? I want to see Door Nine.”

نَظَرَتْ أَمَلُ إِلَيْهَا بِحَذَرٍ. «لَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ يَظُنَّ أَحَدٌ أَنَّنِي قَبِلْتُهُ». قَالَتْ لِينَا: «النَّظَرُ إِلَى بَابٍ لَيْسَ مُوَافَقَةً عَلَيْهِ».

Amal looked at her cautiously. “I do not want anyone thinking I have accepted it.” “Looking at a door is not agreeing to it,” Lina replied.

قَالَتْ أَمَلُ: «حَسَنًا. بَعْدَ أَنْ أَبِيعَ الْخُضْرَوَاتِ فِي الصَّبَاحِ، سَأَذْهَبُ مَعَكِ». ثُمَّ أَصْلَحَتِ الْقُمَاشَ الَّذِي عَلَى عَرَبَتِهَا.

“All right,” Amal said. “After I sell vegetables in the morning, I’ll go with you.” Then she smoothed the cloth on her cart.

عَادَتْ لِينَا إِلَى طَاوِلَتِهَا. كَانَتْ صَبَاحُ تُرَتِّبُ الْأَكْوَابَ بِدُونِ أَنْ تَنْظُرَ إِلَيْهَا. قَالَتْ: «هَلْ أُعِدُّ لَكِ شَايًا؟»

Lina went back to her table. Sabah was arranging cups without looking at her. “Shall I make you some tea?” she asked.

أَجَابَتْ لِينَا: «نَعَمْ، إِنْ وَضَعْتِ فِيهِ السُّكَّرَ». قَالَتْ صَبَاحُ: «هَذَا شَرْطٌ صَعْبٌ». ابْتَسَمَتَا قَلِيلًا، وَلَكِنَّ الْخِلَافَ لَمْ يَخْتَفِ.

“Yes, if you put sugar in it,” Lina answered. “That is a difficult condition,” Sabah said. They smiled a little, but the disagreement had not disappeared.

فَتَحَتْ لِينَا دَفْتَرَهَا وَكَتَبَتْ: «غَدًا: الْبَابُ التَّاسِعُ. لَا وَعْدَ جَدِيدًا، وَلَا اسْمَ جَدِيدًا». ثُمَّ أَغْلَقَتْهُ وَبَدَأَتْ تَغْسِلُ فُرْشَاتَهَا.

Lina opened her notebook and wrote: “Tomorrow: Door Nine. No new promises, no new names.” Then she closed it and began washing her brushes.