لَمْ أَقُلْ نَعَمْ

فِي الْيَوْمِ التَّالِي، وَجَدَتْ لِينَا أَمَلَ تَبِيعُ الْخُضْرَوَاتِ قُرْبَ مَدْخَلِ السُّوقِ الْقَدِيمِ. كَانَتْ أَمَلُ تُعِيدُ النُّقُودَ إِلَى امْرَأَةٍ، وَتُرَتِّبُ الْبَاقِيَ فِي صُنْدُوقٍ صَغِيرٍ.

The next day Lina found Amal selling vegetables near the old market entrance. Amal was giving change to a woman and arranging the rest in a small box.

انْتَظَرَتْ لِينَا حَتَّى ذَهَبَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ. ثُمَّ قَالَتْ: «سَأَسْأَلُكِ سُؤَالًا. إِذَا لَمْ تُرِيدِي أَنْ تُجِيبِي، فَلَا تُجِيبِي».

Lina waited until the woman had left. “I want to ask a question. If you do not want to answer, you do not have to.”

نَظَرَتْ أَمَلُ إِلَى يَدَيْهَا. كَانَتَا تَحْمِلَانِ رَائِحَةَ النَّعْنَاعِ. «اسْأَلِي»، قَالَتْ، وَأَصْلَحَتْ طَرَفَ الْقُمَاشِ عَلَى الْعَرَبَةِ.

Amal looked at her hands, which smelled of mint. “Ask,” she said, smoothing the cloth at the edge of the cart.

قَالَتْ لِينَا: «هَلْ حَدَثَ أَنِ اقْتَرَحَتْ خَدِيجَةُ عَلَيْكِ الْبَابَ التَّاسِعَ، حَتَّى لَوْ لَمْ تُوَافِقِي؟»

“Did Khadija ever suggest Door Nine to you, even if you did not agree?” Lina asked.

رَفَعَتْ أَمَلُ وَجْهَهَا. سَكَتَتْ طَوِيلًا، ثُمَّ قَالَتْ: «نَعَمْ. كَانَ ذَلِكَ قَبْلَ أَسَابِيعَ». لَمْ تَحَاوِلْ أَنْ تَتْرُكَ الْكَلِمَةَ وَحْدَهَا.

Amal raised her face. She was quiet for a long while, then said, “Yes. It was weeks ago.” She did not leave the answer at that.

«قَالَتْ لِي إِنَّ حَامِدًا يَحْتَاجُ إِلَى مَكَانٍ لِعَمَلِهِ. وَقَالَتْ إِنَّ الْبَابَ التَّاسِعَ قَرِيبٌ مِنَ الطَّرِيقِ. طَلَبَتْ مِنِّي أَنْ أُفَكِّرَ فِي التَّبْدِيلِ».

“She said Hamid needed a place to work. She said Door Nine was near the road. She asked me to consider a swap.”

سَأَلَتْ لِينَا: «وَمَاذَا قُلْتِ؟» أَجَابَتْ أَمَلُ بِبُطْءٍ: «قُلْتُ: سَأُفَكِّرُ فِي الْأَمْرِ». ثُمَّ نَظَرَتْ إِلَى لِينَا. «هَذِهِ كَلِمَاتِي كَمَا أَتَذَكَّرُهَا».

“What did you say?” Lina asked. “I said: I will think about it,” Amal answered slowly. She looked at Lina. “Those are the words as I remember them.”

«هَلْ عُدْتِ إِلَيْهَا بِجَوَابٍ؟» سَأَلَتْ لِينَا. قَالَتْ أَمَلُ: «لَا. بَعْدَ أَنْ رَأَيْتُ الدَّرَجَتَيْنِ، عَرَفْتُ أَنَّ الْبَابَ لَا يُنَاسِبُنِي. وَلَمْ تَأْتِ خَدِيجَةُ لِتَسْأَلَنِي مَرَّةً أُخْرَى».

“Did you go back to her with an answer?” “No. After I saw the steps, I knew that door did not suit me. Khadija did not come to ask me again.”

قَالَتْ لِينَا: «لِمَاذَا لَمْ تُخْبِرِينِي بِذَلِكَ مِنَ الْبِدَايَةِ؟» نَظَرَتْ أَمَلُ إِلَى الصُّنْدُوقِ، ثُمَّ أَجَابَتْ: «لِأَنَّنِي خَجِلْتُ مِنْ تَرَدُّدِي».

“Why did you not tell me that at the beginning?” Lina asked. Amal looked at the crate. “Because I felt ashamed of my hesitation,” she answered.

«أَنَا جَدِيدَةٌ نِسْبِيًّا فِي هَذَا السُّوقِ»، أَضَافَتْ. «خِفْتُ أَنْ يَقُولَ النَّاسُ إِنَّنِي قَبِلْتُ أَوَّلًا، ثُمَّ غَيَّرْتُ رَأْيِي. وَلَكِنَّنِي لَمْ أَقُلْ نَعَمْ».

“I am still fairly new to this market,” she added. “I feared people would say I had accepted first and then changed my mind. But I did not say yes.”

قَالَتْ لِينَا: «التَّفْكِيرُ لَيْسَ مُوَافَقَةً». أَجَابَتْ أَمَلُ: «أَعْرِفُ. لَكِنَّ النَّاسَ أَحْيَانًا يَسْمَعُونَ مِنَ الْكَلَامِ مَا يُرِيدُونَ».

“Thinking is not agreeing,” Lina said. “I know,” Amal answered. “But sometimes people hear in words what they want to hear.”

فِي تِلْكَ اللَّحْظَةِ، لَمْ تَكُنْ لِينَا تَعْرِفُ هَلْ كَانَتْ خَدِيجَةُ قَدْ فَهِمَتْ كَلَامَ أَمَلَ بِطَرِيقَةٍ أُخْرَى، أَمْ تَعَمَّدَتْ أَنْ تَتَجَاهَلَهُ.

At that moment Lina did not know whether Khadija had understood Amal's words differently or had chosen to ignore them.

قَالَتْ لِينَا: «سَأَسْأَلُ خَدِيجَةَ عَنْ وَرَقَةِ التَّغْيِيرِ. لَنْ أَقُولَ لَهَا إِنَّكِ كَذَبْتِ، وَلَنْ أَقُولَ إِنَّهَا كَذَبَتْ».

“I will ask Khadija about the change document,” Lina said. “I will not tell her you lied, and I will not tell her she lied.”

أَجَابَتْ أَمَلُ: «اسْأَلِيهَا. وَلَكِنْ قُولِي لَهَا أَنِّي مُسْتَعِدَّةٌ لِلْكَلَامِ أَمَامَ حَامِدٍ». قَالَتْ لِينَا: «سَأَقُولُ ذَلِكَ».

“Ask her,” Amal answered. “But tell her I am ready to speak in front of Hamid.” “I will,” Lina said.

وَجَدَتْ لِينَا خَدِيجَةَ عِنْدَ مَحَلِّ الْقُمَاشِ. كَانَتْ تَطْوِي قِطْعَةً زَرْقَاءَ، وَتَتَكَلَّمُ مَعَ تَاجِرٍ عَنْ نَقْلِ صَنَادِيقِهِ. انْتَظَرَتْ لِينَا حَتَّى فَرَغَتْ.

Lina found Khadija at her fabric stall. She was folding blue cloth and speaking to a trader about moving his crates. Lina waited until she finished.

قَالَتْ خَدِيجَةُ: «هَلْ جَهَزْتِ لَوْحَةَ حَامِدٍ؟ لَمْ يَبْقَ إِلَّا ثَلَاثَةُ أَيَّامٍ». قَالَتْ لِينَا: «لَا. أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَسْأَلَ عَنْ مُوَافَقَةِ أَمَلَ».

“Have you prepared Hamid's sign? Only three days remain,” Khadija said. “No. I want to ask about Amal's agreement,” Lina replied.

تَوَقَّفَتْ خَدِيجَةُ عَنْ طَيِّ الْقُمَاشِ. «أَلَمْ أَقُلْ لَكِ إِنَّنَا اتَّفَقْنَا؟» سَأَلَتْ. كَانَتْ كَلِمَاتُهَا قَصِيرَةً كَالْعَادَةِ.

Khadija stopped folding the cloth. “Did I not tell you we had agreed?” she asked. Her words were as brief as usual.

أَجَابَتْ لِينَا: «قَالَ رَامِي إِنَّ تَغْيِيرَ الْبَابِ يَحْتَاجُ إِلَى مُوَافَقَةٍ مَكْتُوبَةٍ مِنْ صَاحِبِهِ الْأَوَّلِ. هَلْ وَقَّعَتْ أَمَلُ عَلَى وَرَقَةٍ؟»

“Rami said changing a stall needs the first holder’s written agreement,” Lina answered. “Did Amal sign a paper?”

وَضَعَتْ خَدِيجَةُ الْقُمَاشَ عَلَى الطَّاوِلَةِ. «كُلُّ هَذِهِ الْأَسْئِلَةِ، وَالنَّاسُ يَنْقُلُونَ بَضَائِعَهُمْ. لَا يُمْكِنُنَا أَنْ نُؤَخِّرَ السُّوقَ مِنْ أَجْلِ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ».

Khadija laid the cloth on the table. “All these questions, while people are moving their goods. We cannot delay the market over every matter.”

قَالَتْ لِينَا: «لَا أُرِيدُ تَأْخِيرَ السُّوقِ. أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَعْرِفَ هَلْ هُنَاكَ وَرَقَةٌ». لَمْ تُجِبْ خَدِيجَةُ عَنِ السُّؤَالِ مُبَاشَرَةً.

“I do not want to delay the market,” Lina said. “I want to know whether there is a paper.” Khadija did not answer the question directly.

«أَمَلُ قَالَتْ إِنَّهَا سَتُفَكِّرُ، ثُمَّ وَافَقَتْ عَلَى الْبَابِ التَّاسِعِ قَبْلَ الِافْتِتَاحِ بِاثْنَيْ عَشَرَ يَوْمًا»، قَالَتْ خَدِيجَةُ. «أَنَا أَتَذَكَّرُ ذَلِكَ».

“Amal said she would think, then agreed to Door Nine twelve days before the opening,” Khadija said. “I remember that.”

كَانَ ذَلِكَ خَبَرًا جَدِيدًا عَلَى لِينَا. لَمْ تَذْكُرْ أَمَلُ مُحَادَثَةً ثَانِيَةً، بَلْ قَالَتْ إِنَّهَا لَمْ تَعُدْ إِلَى خَدِيجَةَ بِجَوَابٍ.

This was new information to Lina. Amal had mentioned no second conversation; she had said she never returned to Khadija with an answer.

سَأَلَتْ لِينَا: «وَهَلْ كَتَبَتْ أَمَلُ مُوَافَقَتَهَا؟» تَغَيَّرَ صَوْتُ خَدِيجَةَ. «هَلْ سَتَقُولِينَ إِنَّ كَلِمَتِي لَا تَكْفِي؟»

“And did Amal write down her agreement?” Lina asked. Khadija’s voice changed. “Are you going to say my word is not enough?”

شَعَرَتْ لِينَا بِالْحَرَجِ. لَقَدْ أَعْطَتْهَا خَدِيجَةُ عَمَلًا فِي أَوْقَاتٍ صَعْبَةٍ. وَكَانَتْ لِينَا تُرِيدُ أَنْ تَحْتَرِمَهَا. لَكِنَّهَا لَمْ تَسْتَطِعْ تَرْكَ السُّؤَالِ.

Lina felt embarrassed. Khadija had given her work during difficult times, and Lina wanted to respect her. But she could not leave the question unasked.

قَالَتْ: «كَلِمَتُكِ مُهِمَّةٌ. وَوَرَقَةُ أَمَلَ مُهِمَّةٌ أَيْضًا. وَهِيَ تَقُولُ إِنَّهَا لَمْ تُوَافِقْ».

“Your word matters,” she said. “And Amal's document matters too. And Amal says she did not agree.”

نَظَرَتْ خَدِيجَةُ إِلَى الطَّرِيقِ، ثُمَّ قَالَتْ: «أَخْبَرْتُ حَامِدًا أَنْ يُعِدَّ رَفَّهُ لِلْبَابِ السَّادِسِ. كَانَ قَدْ خَسِرَ مَكَانَ عَمَلِهِ. أَرَدْتُ أَنْ أُسَاعِدَهُ».

Khadija looked out at the path. “I told Hamid to prepare his shelf for Door Six. He had lost his workplace. I wanted to help him.”

قَالَتْ لِينَا: «أَفْهَمُ سَبَبَ مُسَاعَدَتِكِ لَهُ. لَكِنَّ أَمَلًا تَحْتَاجُ إِلَى بَابٍ وَاسِعٍ لِعَرَبَتِهَا». قَالَتْ خَدِيجَةُ: «النَّاسُ يَجِدُونَ حُلُولًا».

“I understand why you helped him,” Lina said. “But Amal needs a wide doorway for her cart.” “People find solutions,” Khadija said.

رَأَتْ لِينَا يَدَ خَدِيجَةَ تُرَتِّبُ الْقُمَاشَ الَّذِي رَتَّبَتْهُ قَبْلَ قَلِيلٍ. لَمْ تَفْتَحِ الْمَلَفَّ، وَلَمْ تَقُلْ إِنَّ عِنْدَهَا تَوْقِيعًا مِنْ أَمَلَ.

Lina watched Khadija straighten the cloth she had already arranged. She did not open the file and did not say she had Amal's signature.

قَالَتْ خَدِيجَةُ: «الْمَكْتَبُ لَهُ طَرِيقَتُهُ. إِنْ كَانَ هُنَاكَ سُؤَالٌ، فَلْيَتَكَلَّمِ التَّاجِرَانِ. أَمَّا أَنْتِ فَأَنْهِي لَوْحَاتِكِ».

“The office has its procedure,” Khadija said. “If there is a question, let the two traders speak. As for you, finish your signs.”

أَجَابَتْ لِينَا: «سَيَتَكَلَّمَانِ، إِذَا وَجَدَا وَقْتًا لِلْكَلَامِ». ثُمَّ شَكَرَتْ خَدِيجَةَ وَانْصَرَفَتْ. لَمْ تَكُنْ قَدْ حَصَلَتْ عَلَى جَوَابٍ عَنْ تَوْقِيعِ أَمَلَ.

“They will speak, if they find a time to talk,” Lina said. She thanked Khadija and left. She had received no answer about Amal's signature.

عِنْدَ آخِرِ السُّوقِ، رَأَتْ خَدِيجَةَ تَخْرُجُ مِنْ مَحَلِّهَا لِتُسَاعِدَ امْرَأَةً كَبِيرَةً فِي حَمْلِ قُمَاشٍ ثَقِيلٍ. لَمْ تَتَوَقَّفْ لِتُخْبِرَ أَحَدًا بِمَا فَعَلَتْهُ.

At the far end of the market, Lina saw Khadija leave her stall to help an elderly woman carry heavy cloth. Khadija did not stop to tell anyone what she had done.

وَجَدَتْ لِينَا نَفْسَهَا تَتَمَنَّى أَنْ تَكُونَ الْإِجَابَةُ سَهْلَةً. كَيْفَ تُسَاعِدُ امْرَأَةٌ النَّاسَ كُلَّ يَوْمٍ، ثُمَّ تَكُونُ فِي قَلْبِ هَذَا الْخِلَافِ؟ لَمْ تَجِدْ جَوَابًا.

Lina found herself wishing for an easy answer. How could a woman help people every day yet be at the centre of this dispute? She found no answer.

فِي الْمَسَاءِ، وَضَعَتْ لِينَا دَفْتَرَ طَلَبَاتِهَا بِجَانِبِ دَفْتَرِهَا الصَّغِيرِ. كَتَبَتْ أَنَّ خَدِيجَةَ تَقُولُ إِنَّ أَمَلَ وَافَقَتْ قَبْلَ الِافْتِتَاحِ بِاثْنَيْ عَشَرَ يَوْمًا.

That evening Lina placed her order book beside her small notebook. She wrote that Khadija said Amal had agreed twelve days before the opening.

ثُمَّ كَتَبَتْ تَحْتَ ذَلِكَ: «أَمَلُ تَقُولُ إِنَّهَا لَمْ تَقُلْ نَعَمْ. لَا أُوَقِّعُ بَدَلًا مِنْهَا، وَلَا أُقَرِّرُ بَدَلًا مِنْ حَامِدٍ».

Under that she wrote: “Amal says she did not say yes. I cannot sign for her or decide for Hamid.”

أَغْلَقَتْ لِينَا الدَّفْتَرَيْنِ. بَقِيَتْ ثَلَاثَةُ أَيَّامٍ عَلَى الِافْتِتَاحِ، وَكَانَ عَلَيْهَا أَنْ تَجِدَ طَرِيقَةً يَتَكَلَّمُ بِهَا الْأَصْحَابُ أَنْفُسُهُمْ.

Lina closed both notebooks. Three days remained before opening, and she needed to find a way for the people concerned to speak for themselves.